The One

Well, somehow I got married last month.

I say that not because I didn't know it was coming for a year prior—indeed, it was hardly a shotgun wedding or an elopement in Vegas. I say it simply because after 31½ years of being single, it's strange to think that it actually happened.

During my college days in Oxford, Ohio, I spent more Saturday nights in my dorm room than I care to recall. I remember being confused as I walked around campus seeing how many guys had girlfriends. It seemed so easy for them, but impossible for me. It was harder because I wasn't as social back then, but it was still frustrating because I knew I had a lot to offer a girl. It was sort of like a job search that wasn't going well—I was more than qualified, but no woman was hiring.

Fast-forward a few years later to my post-college life in Nashville. I was still girlfriend-less in life, and at this point it was starting to feel like a curse. I often wondered if something was wrong with me. Suffice it to say that I had a girlfriend complex. But then I finally learned why it was so hard for someone like me: my personality type.

According to the Myers-Briggs personality test, most INFPs (Introverted-Intuitive-Feeling-Perceiving) are very selective when it comes to choosing their partners, and tend to only pursue long-lasting relationships. The test revealed many more truths about all facets of my life that were eerily right on the money, but that was the gist of it as far as relationships go. For anyone who's never taken the assessment, it honestly feels like someone's been spying on you as you read about your type because the test seems to know everything about what makes you tick. For anyone looking to gain knowledge and self-awareness far beyond relationships, this test is essential because it can be life-changing. It was for me.

Jump ahead to early 2009 in New York City. Erin had just started working at TheLadders a few months earlier, and we'd been talking more and more at the office. There was an automatic connection there because we were both from the Midwest, something that was uncommon at TheLadders, even though there was a fair amount of Midwesterners in NYC. We were also tall, which is uncommon to the East Coast. But more than anything, there was a natural chemistry that made for a comfortable, easy courtship. So much so that within a few months of dating, I knew I was in love with her, and that she was the one.

After all the years of sensing that the girl for me was out there somewhere, but not knowing if I'd ever find her, suddenly there she was—amid a gaggle of 8 million New Yorkers; a needle in a haystack. And despite the times when it seemed like the odds were stacked against me and things were never going to change, I finally realized the simple hope of it all: It only takes one.

No matter how hard it seems, it only takes one person and one connection. It's not always easy to find, but I think focusing on the aspect of one is the best way to look at it. Because you could spend most of your life being single, and then with one chance encounter when you least expect it, everything can change. So in the end, it just takes one.

When I was a kid, I remember asking my mom how you know who the right person is to marry. She responded with, "You just know," which is what her dad had told her when she was younger. At the time I remember thinking that it was kind of vague and unhelpful advice, and she thought the same thing when she heard it. But once I knew with Erin, I thought back to this quote and realized how true it was, despite its simplicity. Sometimes the greatest truths are that way.

So why do I love Erin? Let me count the ways:

• I love that she's from the Midwest, but not from a state I'm from.
  
• I love the fact that we both have Irish roots.
  
• I love that she's tall, but not too tall (which is taller than me : )
  
• I love it when she puts her hair up in a ponytail, even though she thinks it looks scrubby.
  
• I love that Falling Down—the 1993 dark comedy (as I classify it; watch the clip) starring Michael Douglas—is partly responsible for bringing us together. Watching it put her in the right frame of mind to break up with her boyfriend two months before we started dating.
  
• I love the fact that she likes beer and appreciates food as much as I do, even though she can't eat very much, and she gets drunk after two drinks—like at the courthouse when we got our marriage license.
  
• I love how she balances the thrill of hunting and eating meat with her girly shows, like House Hunters and Say Yes to the Dress.
  
• I love the fact that we can watch football together. More so, I love the fact that she planned our wedding around the NFL preseason.
  
• I love that she's cool with going to Hooters.
  
• I love how she sits mesmerized in front of the TV, even when it's just commercials that are on. The fact that she didn't have cable growing up couldn't be more obvious.
  
• I love her outbursts of laughter, and the way she constantly cracks herself up when she's telling me something. And when she starts laughing uncontrollably at things when no one else understands what's so funny.
  
• I love being entertained with her crazy, unconscious gibberish that she spouts off randomly while dreaming at night—and that which she has absolutely no recall.
  
• I love her sweet nature, her childlike innocence, and general goofiness.
  
• I love her ambition, drive, and "get 'er done" mentality. She's gonna make a great nurse someday soon.
  
• I love the road we've traveled, and the adventure that lies ahead.

I'd like to finish with a line I said at my best friend Shawn's wedding last December: "There's no better feeling than knowing where you're supposed to be in life and who you're supposed to be spending it with." With our marriage, honeymoon, and exciting new life in Denver, nothing could be closer to the truth.