In The City: May 2011

I got published in Rolling Stone for the second time. I know it's so last month, but I wanted to file this for posterity's sake.

My letter was in response to this article. See also: The Big Leagues

Ken's Rules to Life

#1: Never pay for napkins.
#2: Always write back.
#3: Learn the back roads.
#4: Never say "anyhoo," "selfie," "onesies," "twosies," "halfsies," or "woot woot."
#5: Don't serve butter cold.
#6: Tomatoes and mushrooms make all the difference.
#7: Nip it in the butt.
#8: The before time is the best time.
#9: Take lots of pictures.
#10: Life's too short to drink cheap beer.
#11: Only drink beer ice cold.
#12: Always finish your beer.
#13: Always look back.
#14: Always lick your fingers—that's why God made chicken wings.
#15: Always appreciate the virgin snow.
#16: Look out the left side.
#17: Make it an exercise.
#18: Always load up on free mints.
#21: Sleep is the most powerful drug.
#24: Always open fortune cookies—it's bad luck not to.
#26: Dont forget about the toms.
#27: Root beer's the best.
#28: Don't forget about the versatility of lettuce wraps.
#31: Always get the most out of oven heat.
#36: Never grow up.
#41: Always play tee ball.
#47: Don't feed the prairie dogs.
#50: Never give up.

In The City