Sunday, August 8, 2010

Less for More

A few months ago, I dined at Spunto in Soho for lunch, and I think it's time I said something about it. Because after all these years, my long-feared suspicions have been confirmed: The thin-crust pizza market is a racket.

Does it taste good? Sure. Is it worth the price you pay? Not unless it's Marion's.

Just look at the menu: $13 for a large pie without any toppings. Since plain-cheese pizza sort of defeats the purpose of eating pizza in the first place, an additional layer of toppings will cost you five more bucks. I'd be tempted to try one of Spunto's house specialty pizzas if it didn't put me out $24.

I realize that some people are okay with paying whatever for thin-crust pizza because they prefer that to thicker crusts. Honestly, I wouldn't be opposed to the prices if I didn't get hungry an hour or two later.

So if anyone else's experience is anything like mine, thin-crust pizza ultimately serves as a snack, but you end up paying a full meal's price for it. This isn't right, especially at chains that charge the same for thicker crusts.

Preference is one thing; principle is another.

Monday, August 2, 2010

One Ring To Bind Her

How to propose to your girlfriend in 13 steps:
  1. Create a relationship crossword puzzle. Include inside jokes, pet names, common likes, and references to relationship history.

  2. Leave crossword puzzle for girlfriend to find when she comes home.

  3. Wait for girlfriend to meet you at the secret location revealed by unscrambling certain letters on the crossword. One location could be Belvedere Castle in Central Park.
  4. Give girlfriend a big hug and kiss when she does finally find you off to the side of the castle, away from all the tourists.

  5. Present her a single rose. Then say, "Well, I guess we can head back home now." Make sure she knows you're not serious.
  6. Pull out the ring and say "Do I even have to ask?" with a knowing smile. But follow up with "Will you marry me?" just to be sure.
  7. Take pictures.

  8. Appreciate the complete randomness and coincidental timing of a former hockey teammate running into you moments after popping the big one...
    "I was strolling through central park on Saturday afternoon with a lovely coed. As we ascended to the platform of the castle that resides off the southwest edge of the Great Lawn, I glanced to my left and saw a very familiar towering god-like figure. So familiar, after a quick double take I zoned in and got closer, it was no other than the one the only Kenny "Marquee" Devine. Not only was the sighting out of left field, couple it with the fact that literally moments earlier in that exact spot with his princess in hand, he asked the lady of his life that eternal question.....and she graciously accepted. Hearts across America broke this weekend. Kenny, congrats big guy...From every last member of the Tea Time community, we wish you nothing but the best....salud"
  9. Take more pictures.

  10. Accept the fact that, yes, Billy Squier's "Love Is The Hero" is indeed playing in your head. But it's cool.
  11. Dine at a great steakhouse.

  12. Tell the world.

  13. Feast on a celebratory breakfast the next morning, with whipped cream symbolizing your sentiment.