State of the Union address postponed after 'Lost' fans march on Washington

By Ken Devine

WASHINGTON—Thousands of Lost fanatics staged a historic rally outside the White House this weekend, protesting the potential February 2nd date of President Obama's State of the Union address that would conflict with the über-anticipated premiere of Lost's sixth and final season.

Fueled by Internet speculation and ambiguous White House press briefings, Lost fans began arriving in droves early Friday morning after the topic of the February 2nd broadcast date reached a boiling point. Protesters from far and wide congregated quickly outside the front gates of White House and let their voices be heard with galvanizing chants ranging from "The Island wants you" to the increasingly threatening "We'll go Eko on your ass."

Other geeky expressions like "State of the Union = Bad Dharma" were seen on placards.

"I'm curious to hear what President Obama has to say about the serious issues facing our nation" said Lost devotee Andrew Stephenson of Philadelphia. "But honestly, the world has been dying to see this premiere for almost eight months now. We'll finally get to find out what happened when Juliet detonated the H-bomb."

"Obama's just going to have to wait," he concluded.

White House sources have indicated that as a result of the protest's size and intensity, President Obama is likely to push back his crucial speech for at least another week, and will broadcast his decision to the nation in the coming days.

"With the recent airline security failures and the latest job-loss report, the last thing Obama needs is a rabid contingent of Losties fans at his throat," said White House Press Secretary Robert Gibbs. "There was a massive backlash a few years ago when 24 was pre-empted by a national address from President Bush, and his ratings never recovered."

According to Gibbs, the State of the Union was originally planned for January 26th, but was nixed once they discovered that it coincided with the premiere of the ninth season of American Idol.

"At this point it's looking like Obama's going to have to speak on a Sunday or Monday night when Chuck or The Bachelor is normally on," Gibbs said. "No one watches those shows anyway."

An ABC spokesperson reported that the network was pleased with the president's decision to put critical communication with the American people on the backburner for at least another week.

"The excitement for this premiere has built to an unprecedented, all-time fever pitch," she said, "and I can't imagine that anyone in America will actually be interested in what the president has to say about his dubious healthcare plan or the failing wars in the Middle East when they know they could be watching Lost."

White House intern Benjamin Holllingsworth, who said that he pointed out the bad timing to the administration months ago, admitted that he's not surprised by the president's decision to delay the address, and that Obama himself is rumored to be a fan of the epic serial drama.

"Well, he was born in Hawaii, so there's an obvious connection there," the 22-year-old staffer pointed out. "But he has this weird thing with lottery numbers—religiously playing 4 8 15 16 23 42 in the Pick 6."

"And he's not available most Wednesday nights."

In the Years 2000

I can't believe the 2000s are history. It didn't seem too long ago when the Backstreet Boys were on top and Y2K was threatening humanity's very existence. Now I guess we have 2012 to look forward to.

I didn't even realize the 2000s (or "zeroes"—whatever we called them) were coming to a close until I got an e-mail in late November about submitting a list for best albums of the decade. And even though the number of truly great albums diminished in the past few years, I would be remiss not to mention the ones that played an integral part of my soundtrack during the past 10 years.

So without further ado, below are my favorite albums of the 2000s. While I think these are some of the best, I realize that there's a difference between what is good critically and what I like to listen to the most personally. For example, Radiohead's Kid A (2000) is a landmark album I own that's not represented here. Rolling Stone declared it the best album of the decade, and from a critical perspective, they're correct—Kid A is a better album than Chinese Democracy. But it's not an album that I crave to hear as much as Chinese Democracy. And I guess that's what it all boils down to: How do you want music to make you feel most of the time? It's different for everyone, and that explains the sheer range of musical tastes and diversity in best-of lists.

So, in closing, while this list leaves off a lot of other really good albums that I own, these are simply the ones I like to listen to the most; the ones that I feel carry the most power, beauty, and emotion.

My Top 10 Albums of the 2000s:

1. The Darkness—One Way Ticket To Hell...And Back (2005)
   The Darkness only produced two albums before their lead singer derailed them with his coke addiction, and their first album got more attention than this one. Their debut has some great songs, but track for track, One Way Ticket is the clear winner. Yet despite a slew of sturdy, radio-ready singles and rich production values, it never really got much attention, nor has it made it into a Guitar Hero game, something The Darkness—with their falsetto-heavy, '80s cock rock—seem destined for. Therefore, I'll go on record saying that this is one of the most underrated and overlooked albums of the decade. It's also pure, absurd fun.
   
   
2. Muse—Black Holes And Revelations (2006)
   As I listened to The Resistance, Muse's newest album released last September, a co-worker and I ended up talking more about their previous record, Black Holes And Revelations. The new one is good, like all their albums, but we decided that it was no Black Holes, which is the first Muse album I bought after spontaneously attending their concert with a high school friend who came into town, having never heard a single song of theirs. While I liked the show, I didn't think I'd get hooked on the band the way I did, and particularly this album. In fact, it was only when I went to delete certain songs I didn't want that I realized it was a keeper. And after that, this revolutionary opus of apocalyptic proportions continued to blow me away, spin after spin.
   
   
3. Dixie Chicks—Taking The Long Way (2006)
   File this one under "Political Upheaval Makes for Better Ensuing Album" and "The Only Dixie Chicks CD I Own". After lead singer Natalie Maines bashed Bush in 2003, their fans called for their heads and dumped their CDs. But as seen in the excellent documentary Shut Up and Sing, what didn't kill the Chicks only made them stronger. Their answer to the world was Taking The Long Way, an unapologetic, un-countrified album in the vein of '70s Fleetwood Mac. Their heart and soul is in these 14 songs, and it's an incredibly moving, sympathizing journey.
   
   
4. The Elms—Truth, Soul, Rock & Roll (2002)
   In 2002 a good friend of mine in Nashville turned me on to The Elms, a Christian rock band from small-town Indiana. I say "Christian" with an asterisk, because The Elms sound more real than any Christian band, and their Midwestern brand of rock & roll is more of a throwback to Led Zeppelin and the Rolling Stones. Truth, Soul, Rock & Roll is a potent sophomore effort filled with muscle and melody, and will likely stand as the peak of the band's career.
   
   
5. Coldplay—A Rush Of Blood To The Head (2002)
   Coldplay has a lot of similarities to U2 in their universal appeal and artful approach to making music, yet because they're mainstream, a lot of people think it's "uncool" to like Coldplay. ("Know how I know you're gay? You listen to Coldplay.") Uncool or not, A Rush Of Blood To The Head catches Coldplay before they were very well-known, and is impressive in its breadth, beauty, and the musical landscape it paints. It's also a superior follow-up to a first album that was much more straightforward and subdued. (Are we seeing a pattern here?)
   
   
6. The Decemberists—The Crane Wife (2006)
   The Decemberists are one of the few indie bands in my collection, but The Crane Wife was the Portland quintet's major-label debut, and not coincidentally, I think it's their strongest effort (although 2009's The Hazards Of Love is also good). What's cool about this album, besides its array of song structures and seafaring singing, is that it just rocks, especially the second song, The Island.
   
   
7. Guns N' Roses—Chinese Democracy (2008)
   I guess that after all this time, a lot more was said about Chinese Democracy before its release than what effect it had after it finally surfaced in late 2008. Although I think it's a great Guns N' Roses album, I suppose that it's simply more exciting for people to talk about what they don't have, especially if it takes 15 years to get it.
   
   
8. Elton John—Songs From The West Coast (2001)
   Elton John was one of those musicians I never thought I'd ever like simply because my parents liked him. Plus, he played the piano, which never seemed cool. I guess sometimes you just have to grow up to appreciate great music. I'm not very familiar with some of Elton's early albums, but this passionate 2001 effort is excellent from start to finish, and no doubt features some of his best work.
   
   
9. Sheryl Crow—C'mon, C'mon (2002)
   This is one of those albums I remember more by where I was. It was about a month before college graduation in April 2002, and I'd discovered this great pop-rock album from Sheryl Crow. This is another all-around solid listen, and even in the year of its release, I remember thinking how untapped its potential was—there are several radio-worthy singles here that were never released. The other thing I remember is listening to this in my parents' van, slowly nodding off as we drove away from my school on graduation day. The whole circus finally over, I breathed a sigh of relief and let the music take me home.
   
   
10. Chantal Kreviazuk—What If It All Means Something (2002)
    This is another strong, overlooked pop-rock album from the Canadian chanteuse. "In This Life", the first track and biggest highlight, is an incredible soaring ballad. And while I now prefer the Raul Malo and Martina McBride duet version, Chantal's cover of "Feels Like Home" is just as good in its own right. Let's just say I've known for a while that this song will be played at my wedding.

Strength and Beauty

In retrospect, maybe I shouldn't have doubted James Cameron. But since 1998, his obsession with the Titanic has led him to dwell in the depths of the ocean for the better part of the past 11 years. He disappeared from the public eye and seemed uninterested in returning to his specialty at crafting acclaimed Hollywood blockbusters. The last image I have of him is kookily shouting "I'm the king of the world!" in distasteful self-aggrandizement at his Oscar acceptance speech, even though he wasn't necessarily undeserving of such a statement.

Maybe I shouldn't have doubted Cameron. But in my mind, the odds were against him.

After seeing Avatar last weekend, I learned that an old dog can still learn new tricks (even with his head in the water). Because in all its sweeping, breathtaking glory, Avatar is not just a technical tour de force, but easily the most entertaining film of the year.

Amid big battles, Eastern mysticism, and post-9/11 political parallels, Avatar is of course a love story at heart. And for a film relying so heavily on 3D-rendered characters, Avatar's biggest surprise (and success) is capturing the human condition in the tribal, yellow-eyed alien race of the Na'vi. It's hard to describe, but for me Avatar unlocked some long-lost archetype that made me connect with the love story as if I knew it once before, long ago. My emotions took me by surprise as I seemed to relive some ancient experience.

But despite epic storytelling that deftly weaves action, adventure, and romance, Avatar's obvious weakness is its reliance on so many movies before it. The plot itself is an avatarish amalgam of Dances with Wolves, The Last Samurai, Last of the Mohicans, Donnie Brasco, Aliens, Gorillas in the Mist, and The Matrix, to name a few. To its credit, though, Avatar's execution is strong enough to overcome the plight of unoriginality, making the experience no less gripping and thrilling every step of the way.

Another film that Avatar recalls is Star Wars, specifically the heavily hyped but flawed prequels. Because when you walk out of the theater, you realize that Avatar is the film that Episodes I-III should have been—not just escapist and immersive, but awesome.

George Lucas, meet Jim Cameron. Old dog teaches older dog new tricks.

Related: Audiences experience 'Avatar' blues

Cup of No

The longer I live in this city, the longer I'm amazed by people's addiction to coffee. Every morning, people rely on coffee to jumpstart their day. Otherwise-impatient people wait in long lines at Starbucks, and others make sure they get their caffeine fix as soon as they get to the office. But I just don't understand why so many people are slaves to the java bean.

What's funny is that I actually like the concept of coffee—just not its taste. Because on the surface, the appeal is understandable; what a better way to start your day than with a steaming beverage that awakens your senses and invigorates your body?

But in its darkest, purest form (black), I find the taste overly strong and insipid. Of course, I forgot to add cream and sugar, you say. Yes, that makes it better, but that doesn't say a lot about coffee itself, does it? Think about when you were young, and the only way to make Grape Nuts tolerable was to overload it with sugar. That didn't mean Grape Nuts was a naturally good-tasting cereal, because it's not. It just said more about what it was missing.

But as coffee and its trendy spinoff drinks like frappuccinos become more flavorful with a plethora of additives, at what point is coffee still coffee? Coffee is essentially becoming un-coffee-like when it starts to resemble hot chocolate, a Frosty, or another dessert-type drink in both taste and appearance.

So my question then becomes: Why not just cut to the chase go straight to the hot chocolate? Or is it all about the caffeine?

Man, people and their addiction to drugs...

Something else I find amusing is my parents continually asking if I've started drinking coffee yet, as if they're looking forward to the day that I inevitably get hooked on it, just like they are. (It's not unlike cult members pushing the Kool-Aid on their initiates.) And now that I think about it, maybe that explains my associative aversion to coffee—I view it as an adult drink. And I don't really like to think of myself as an "adult," at least not yet.

So, short of a major palate reversal or grim survival situation, this is one man who will always say no to the Joe—for life.

Living with the Dead

A&E's Psychic Kids: Children of the Paranormal is the best investigative show on TV that no one's talking about. Below is a synopsis of the eerie supernatural series, now in its second season:

Psychic Kids examines the trials and tribulations of children who have extraordinary psychic gifts and sensibilities. Chip Coffey, a renowned psychic medium along with clinical psychologist Dr. Lisa Miller, travels the country interviewing, encouraging, and supporting these gifted children and their parents. Their mission is to educate and inform the kids and their families about these abilities.

I feel compelled to write about Psychic Kids because it's brought tears to my eyes almost every time I've watched it. It's heartbreaking to see the pain of innocent teenagers who are seen as outcasts by their peers, alone every minute of the day with their frightening gift. It's devastating to see children who are too afraid to fall asleep at night because they're constantly tormented by menacing spirits. And it's crushing to see how helpless parents are in protecting their loved ones, even as some don't fully believe what their child is experiencing is real.

The best thing about Psychic Kids is how it brings paranormally troubled kids together to realize that they're not as alone as they thought. They always get the chance to not only face their fears head-on, but to overcome them bravely with the support of their new friends. Chip Coffey does a phenomenal job of comforting, challenging, and encouraging psychic kids of different ages, instilling confidence while empowering them to control and conquer their fears.

By the end of the show, the kids walk away feeling good about themselves, ready to return to their lives and embrace their abilities, which they see now more as gifts than curses. The bonds the kids form and the support they show for each other is touching.

The more you watch Psychic Kids, the truly terrifying thing you realize is how widespread this phenomenon is. We all saw little Haley Joel Osment haunted by ghosts many years ago in The Sixth Sense, but few of us probably ever realized that this super-sensitive condition affects hundreds—if not thousands—of kids, whether they know it or not. Writes Examiner.com's Elizabeth Costanzo:

It is important for all parents to realize that children, especially young children, have open minds and pure souls which haven't yet been jaded by society's constraints or disbelief in the paranormal... Until the belief in the paranormal is crushed by the standards and norms of the adult world, most children, whether they retain any psychic gifts as adults or not, are more susceptible to ghostly visits. They haven't closed the door on the possibility of spiritual activity, and this is why more children than adults complain of "monsters" under the bed or in the closet and ghosts talking to them when no one else is present.

In addition, paranormal researchers and parapsychologists theorize that children are not only more willing to see spirits, but their youth and therefore, their proximity to the "other side" enables them to see and communicate with the dead... As a result, when a young child is "visited" by a spirit or ghost, the child is not necessarily alarmed at the presence because it does not seem "supernatural" in their eyes. The spirit world only becomes "supernatural" when we are conditioned to believe this.

Psychic Kids is different than other ghost-hunting shows. It's the polar opposite of the Travel Channel's Ghost Adventures, where instead of helping tortured souls cross over, you'll hear meathead ghost hunter Zak Bagans antagonize ill-tempered spirits with such appalling, ridiculous lines like "What if we stole your silver? Would that piss you off?"

Psychic Kids respects the spirit world and wants to change the lives of the living who are down in despair. It's a ghost show that's frightening, enlightening, and uplifting, and it'll make you thank God you can't see dead people.

Well, most of us anyway.